I Have Herpes - At Least You Could Call It That

***NB: No names or gender were identified in this post. Therefore, if the stone I throw hits someone, please think twice before you do anything that may bring you more embarrassment and me, more blog hits, Google Ad Sense dollars and Twitter followers***

Consider this scenario: Someone is presenting you with a major award. You know you don't deserve it and you are only getting it because the real recipient is not present. Would you accept it? Fine. Now imagine coming off the stage and standing face to face with the real recipient of the award. How would you feel? How would you sleep at night?

Well if you are this person (let's call the person K.), you would sleep like a baby.

I met K. at a community college. We were classmates completing two years of our four year degree programme. Some people considered K. a very 'happy' person who enjoyed 'fruits'. Your favorite songs being 'Beyonce - Put A Ring on It' and "Aqua - Barbie Girl' do point in that direction. Me, I couldn't have cared less about K. or his source of joy. I was there to excel. K, however, took a very keen interest in me, my grades, my projects, my work technique and my class participation. In the off-chance that K. outperformed me in any test, minor or major, K. ensured that this became public knowledge.

Two years complete, it was time to converge at the main university campus. I got a call one day indicating that I would have to return to my hometown to participate in graduation because I would be receiving an award for "Most Outstanding Performance in Business". If I did not attend, my award would be presented to someone else. I, therefore, made the very costly arrangements to return for graduation and informed the head of the Business department that I would be in attendance. Upon my arrival, I informed the head of the Business department that I had arrived. Three days later, I watched K. receive an award I knew I rightfully deserved. And he smiled at me and I mentally stabbed him in the forehead (great stress release method by the way).

Karma is never too far behind...

Only a few months later, while at university, I learned that the Business school was now presenting a very similar award (Best Performance at a Community College). Considering that plaque is now hanging on my wall with my name in bold font, I guess we know now who really deserved it.

K, I'm not sure if you have managed to convince yourself that you are better than me but I am here to tell you that you are not. And as for your 'surprise' factor when receiving an award, it is so played out and rehearsed that I can recite it just like you can recite the words to your favorite Lady GaGa song (which I'm sure you can):

And the winner is....K:

*jumps out of seat* What?! ME?! *laughs nervously* *struts to stage* *shocked look on face* A joke unnu a mek? Wow! I never expected this at all! (REALLY NOW???)

It sickens me. And you know what else sickens me? These comments you made in a conversation we had once school was over:

''With everything aside, I really always admired you. You don't know how much you inspired me while I was going to school. You made me into what I am now though. I have accepted that now.'

If I made you into what you are, please hand me the gun so I can shoot myself.

You are like Herpes to me. You are a virus that no one really sees yet I know you are there. Whenever you are around you drive me crazy and give me a permanent itch. No matter how long you are dormant and I think you are gone, you always return like a thief in the night. But I pray to Buddha and his belly that one day you will go away and NEVER RETURN.

But until then, stop touting that award and saying its yours. Its mine. Me, you and that damn woman know it.